Eight Milking Maids

There are many secrets to Santa’s Workshop. Some darker than others.

 On the eighth day of Christmas, preparations were well underway for the magical trek just a few days ahead.

 Elves built and wrapped and toys.

 Santa had made his list and was checking it twice.

 And eight maids were milking.

 Eight maids who, over the years, had given Santa plenty a jolly.

 Mrs. Claus was well aware, but Mrs. Claus didn’t care.  

 But the maids cared.

 They got free room and board in exchange for their milking duties. (Tut-tut. They had ACTUAL milking duties)

 The maids milked Sugar Plum Fairies year-round. It was the essence of the Sugar Plum Fairies that fueled the eight reindeer to guide Santa’s sleigh through the skies. Hundreds of thousands of Sugar Plum Fairies gave their lives and magic for Santa to bring joy to the rest of the world.

 On this particular Eighth Day of Christmas, though, the maids had decided enough was enough.

 This was test-drive night for the reindeer. Each maid would bottle-feed one reindeer, giving them enough Fairy juice to rise into the sky, make eight laps around the Santa’s Workshop compound, then come back to the ground.  

 But, again, enough had become enough.

 The maids plotted in glances, no words.

 They fed the reindeer as expected; but no one knew a spot of coal had been included in the bottle to taint the Fairy juice.

 Santa paused from review of his list and got into his sleigh. Mrs. Claus came out from the kitchen to watch the take off.

 “On, Dasher!” Etcetera, times seven.  

Santa and his eight reindeer rose into the sky and shot off, emitting a trail of glitter.

 One lap.

 Two laps.

 Three laps.

Each lap lagged a little more than the last. Mrs. Claus noticed, and so did the elves that had also paused to come and watch.

 By Lap Six, the reindeer and sleigh slowed to a complete stop.  

 The winter wonderland watched in horror as Santa and the eight reindeer plummeted down.

 The sleigh separated from the reindeer. Santa, jolly as he was, was falling faster and was the first to his endgame.

 He fell right onto the chimney of his workshop. Blew to bloody bits on impact.

 Appendages from eight reindeer littered the grounds.

 And the eight maids laughed.  




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